Spam Filter

A few colleagues have comented that my anti-spam filter, which I wrote myself, is draconian at best and quite restrictive. Take a look at my TRASH for the last twelve hours and maybe you'll see the justification. These messages are all unread and were turfed by my anti-spam filter before they ever got a chance to waste my time.

Overall, 30 spam messages between 4:30 (when I left) and 8:30 (when I arrived the next morning). Without a filter, I'd spend half my morning looking over junk like this. A few highlights of last week's crap, with cynical comments to match ...

A bank I do not deal with asking for my account number .... hmmmm, wonder if I should give it out, after all, can't be anything wrong with a bank asking for confidential information in an email addressed as "dear customer" (like they don't know who I am ??) ... Go Phish
eBay telling me I must update my account. Funny, I don't recall giving them my credit card number when I registered? And even better, look a the ACTUAL address of where you're clicking ... although the URL says 'eBay' on the email message, the actual link takes you to a numbered server operating in the Netherlands. I thought tulips came from Holland, not eBay :)
Mrs. Mariam Abacha has sent me at least six messages saying that if I send her my bank account info she can use it to transfer money from an African country here .... and of course I will get paid a handsome reward for doing this. The email goes on to say that I look like a trustworthy person. Funny, she thinks she can trust me but she does not even know my real name and better yet, I've had friends who received the same message ... guess we're just a trustworthy bunch, eh?
Oh yes, let's not forget about the multiple "Opt-In" lists I must have signed-up for! Geez, I'm sooooo bored at work I must spend all day signing up for junk emails (at least they'd have you believe that)
And HEY, I'm PRE-APPROVED for loans I never applied for. Funny, could be a ten year old kid at the other end of an email address but he, too, is pre-approved.
And viruses .... let's just say I've got twin scanners running here. The ones marked "(VIRUS)" were taken-out by Guinevere, the college's scanner (I like her :). The rest I kill locally.
I WON THE LOTTERY, at least four times this week. Funny though, I don't recall entering .... but ... if I just send them a few thousand dollars to cover taxes I'll be rich.
Can't think of why I need a larger "Johnson" when I don't even have an outboard motor let alone a boat. Had an Evinrude once though - can't figure out what pharmaceuticals have to do with boating though ;)
... and finally, I just LOVE emails with a title like "******@#$****". Hmmmm must be important, too.

Would YOU believe ANYTHING you read in those 30 emails?? Somebody must .... I suppose P.T. Barnum was right - that there is a sucker born every minute :). I've taken the advice of a self-help guide one further: the guide said to just STOP reading spam ... the work day is just too short. My 'draconian' filter goes one step further.

I apologize if you are a real person trying to get hold of me and get a bounce from my filter but rest assured all you need to do is put something relevant (like "Niagara College" or "Lasers") in the subject line.